The 3 Things Silence Taught Me (And Can Teach You)
A couple of months ago I participated in a week-long writing and meditation retreat, which was on my to-do list for a long time. That I was excited weeks before is an understatement, and once I entered the retreat, I was completely enchanted by the beautiful green setting.
The first thing we were asked upon arrival was whether we were willing to hand in our phones for the week. It wasn’t obligatory, no pressure, but it was highly recommended. I’d always been confident that I wasn’t really glued to my phone, so my strong reaction to this request took me by surprise. Hastily, I sent off some last messages before handing it in reluctantly. I couldn’t really not do it, seeing that everyone else was willing to give it a go.
The next surprise came when we were introduced to our daily routine for the week, which consisted of writing practice, meditation and yoga. There was an additional element. Silence. From the time we’d get up until 4pm we would do everything in silence.
While silence and meditation seemed like a good fit, I wasn’t sure how yoga and having breakfast and lunch with everyone in silence would turn out. Would I start talking to myself when I was alone?
Phoneless and nervous I went to bed that night in my tiny wooden cabin shaped like a dome wondering if I’d be able to cope with all of this. It turned out that, except for a few awkward moments e.g. at breakfast when I accidentally dropped a spoonful of porridge onto the clean cutlery and had to hold back an embarrassed giggle, I was fine.
Better still, I learned a few important lessons from this simple practice and returned home recharged and more relaxed than I’ve ever been.
1. We’re always quick to fill silence, whether we’re alone or with others. Often, it’s nothing interesting and nothing that adds value to the silence. By being forced to be in a social setting in silence, I found it a relief (after the first awkward day) not having to start a conversation just to be polite. When the silence was lifted for the day, I found that the conversations had much more substance to them. I was truly engaging and interested in talking to my fellow participants.
2. Silence means turning within. During the retreat I had enough time in the day to listen to myself and I began following my thoughts. Something that would normally be cut off by some kind of exterior distraction swooping in. As this wasn’t an option, I found myself observing my mind and I started bringing my thoughts down on paper. I was surprised by all the creative ideas that practically poured out of me. Simultaneously, my awareness for my surroundings also grew when I was in silence.
3. Human interaction is important. As a freelance writer I spend lots of time alone and I’m quite comfortable with it. I’m not an overly social person and thought that I would be at my best at home behind my computer surrounded by my cats. However, being forced to hold back from socialising during my week at the retreat I found that it is important to mix with your tribe. To find some like-minded people and have valuable interactions in person. It enriches you and it helps you grow.
When I returned from my retreat I started looking into this topic and read about the benefits of silence, which range from growing brain cells and improving your memory to protecting your heart. A study in 2006 found that as little as two minutes of silence have a more stress-lowering effect than listening to relaxing music, based on monitored changes in blood pressure.
After my positive experience with silence, I will definitely find the time to implement it in my life. Given the fact that there are no expensive new gadgets needed for this practice, it’s easy to make it a part of your positive habits. Give it a try.
